You've Got Mail : revised
by Baculities
Summary: Ranma is removed Nerima by friends to save him from himself. Since the alternate to going willingly was being kidnapped from the dojo to keep him from doing anything stupid...Revised and partially rewritten.
1. Default Chapter

**You've got mail**

AN/Disclaimer :

This fic is Alternate Universe running from partway through the first war and continues until after the end of Endless Waltz in the GW universe, and begins before and ends several months after Saffron is defeated in the R1/2 universe. (Duo 15, Ranma 17 at beginning), Warnings: AU, OOCness, Yaoi, & Het.

Flames will be used to light the burn barrel.

Prologue

Re:Re: Top ten ways to get rid of unwanted women.

Monday, April 3rd

Ranma Saotome, you damn idiot. **What the fucking hell are you thinking! **When I suggested you get rid of your fiancées by getting pregnant I was JOKING! Your mother would kill both of us if I did what you asked me to do. More to the point, she'd make _you_ kill _you_, after cutting off my head! Or don't you remember that little contract you and your pops signed when you were six? Just in case, let me remind you, if you come back to her as anything less that what she calls a man among men, you are **Dead Meat!** Being a pregnant girl would definitely get you killed!

Why the hell didn't you just ask us to get you out of there? We coulda figured out some way to do it without you having to play dead! I know you don't wanna just disappear, but face it bud, that's what it just might take. You can always tell your mom you're still alive later you know.

Ok I'll admit it, you really are desperate to get rid of the finacee brigade. Still telling them you prefer guys is Not going to help you given who you're dealing with! All you'll get is a beating from Akane an' your Pops an' attempts to change your mind from everyone else. And don't you Fucking DARE try to follow through with that damned crack-brained plan you mentioned as an alternative if me, Heero, an' Wu-man all refused to knock you up! Just to remind you (note the sarcasm, moron)...seducing boys as Ranko since there's no way in Hell I'll get you pregnant for this, is NOT A GOOD IDEA! If you do try it, I will personally Kick Your Miserable Ass Up Between Your Ears! By the look on his face, Heero plans to help me after he skins that damned Panda.

You damn well better be at the Preventer's branch office in Tokyo in 3 days. Go to the front desk and ask for any of us, we'll be waiting for you. If you don't show up before 4pm me and He-chan'll hunt you down and kidnap you. Straight out of the Dojo if we have to, swear to God. Fei'll help too if the look on his face is anything to go by. Man, I've never seen him turn that color before... maybe I should call Sally...;)

Oh, Hell. Heero just took off with THAT look on his face and the keys to the munitions room. I'd better go stop him from heading your way to playing sniper. I know exactly who he's gonna shoot, but now is Not the time! If you Don't show up Thursday, I'll let him do whatever the hell he want's while the rest of us find you. Who knows who he'll go after then, knowing him he'll just rig the entire Dojo to blow. No, wait, that's what I wanna do.

In any case, see you soon and Don't Do Anything Stupid!

Shinigami

Ranma

Don't do anything without thinking it through. Meet us in 3 days or we will extract you from the Dojo without permission. In the meantime I'll try to keep the terrible two occupied.

Wufei.

Ranma POV

Ok, I gotta admit this email doesn't make a lotta sense if you don't know some things. Like me meeting Duo, Wufei, and the rest when they hid out in Nerima during the first war, and me being so damn sick of the fiancées and enemies Pops saddled me with as well as the shit I got from the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew that Mom's seppku contract was startin' to look pretty damn good in comparison.

Yup, sad to say, I Ranma Saotome was so sick of all the crap that I had to put up with that I was about ready to end it all for good. Sure Duo thought all the messes I got into were funny as hell, but from my end it was fuckin' miserable.

An' ta make my life more complicated, meeting Duo and the guys made me realize that I didn't like just girls. Turns out, I liked boys too! Talk about freakin' out. I just about crushed my balls and drowned the first time I realized I wasn't just thinkin' 'bout the private bits you find on girls while I was… relieving stress so to say. Wakin' up to wet boxers after dreamin' about wrestling with Ryouga a couple of days later wasn't much better, especially since he was bedded down next to me in the Tendo's guest room at the time.

I avoided Duo and the guys like the plague after the bathroom 'incident', Ryouga too after that mind wrecking dream. Mousse was added to my avoid list soon after. This went on for about a week while I spent lots of time going through all Pops girly mags. It woulda lasted longer if Duo hadn't got the guys to help him corner me and tie me up away from the dojo so that I had to sit still so he could force me to tell him what my problem was.

It took him almost two hours of buggin' me before I finally told him what the problem was and why I'd been hiding from him and the others. It took much longer for him and Quatre to convince me that there was nothing wrong with me. Eventually they had to pull Trowa and Heero into the 'discussion' before I started believing them that maybe feelin the way I did wasn't so bad after all. It took me a while to get used to it, try months, but I eventually managed to get comfortable with the idea of being interested in other guys.

In any case, I made damn sure no one else found out about it. Especially Nabiki, since not only didi I not want her to have anything this major as blackmail material, but also because I wanted to keep my head right where it was. I also figured that if Ryouga got a hold on this info he'd either kill me himself for dreamin' about him, or he'd tell my pops so he'd kill me for him.

But that was just part of the problem.

To really understand where the email in question, you have to realize that I kept in contact with Duo and the guys even after I'd helped them blow the local OZ base and their spaceport to make sure nothin' could be sent to space from there. We usually emailed back and forth although Duo did occasionally call. I even went and helped wiht other jobs when they needed an extra pair of hands, someone they could trust who wasn't on OZ's capture list, or kami's help me, a real girl. Yeah, Yeah laugh all you want, but Duo needed a roommate in a girl's dorm for a few weeks once and the only other one avaliable was Trowa, who by the way makes one hell of a funny looking girl. Thank kami Nabiki never found out about that, or that most of my training trips during the second half of the war had very little or nothing to do with martial arts.

But enough of that, back to the story.

It'd been a bit more'n a year and a half since I'd met the Gundam pilots, there'd been another war, and by then the guys were all worked for or with the Preventers. Which, by the way, was the only thing that I'd ever really wanted to do besides run my own dojo. Kat and Trowa were still together, Wufei'd fallen for an Ex-Alliance rebel named Sally, and Duo and Heero'd moved in together. In other words, the guys had gotten thier lives more or less straightened out and were doin' just fine.

My life on the other hand was still rotten. Akane had gotten even worse after the ruined wedding and the fiasco with Saffron. She'd taked to hitting me every time I was near by and something pissed her off, usually something I wasn't even involved in. She was more jealous than ever, thinkin' that every time I went anywhere without her I was going off to meet up with Shampoo, Kodachi, or Ukyo. It got to the point where it was absolutely rediculous, and I had the worst time not smackin' her back when she hit me for running ahead of her to school anad the like. The other fiancees weren't helping a bit either. Shampoo wouldn't leave me the hell alone, Kodachi came by tryin' ta poison or drug me at least two or three times a week, and Ukyo was getting downright clingy.

To make matters worse, Ryouga and Mousse were both getting meaner and more inventive, but sad to say I was still reacting to them the way I wished I still reacted to Akane or Shampoo. To make matters worse, Pops and Akane's dad were continually coming up with crack-brained schemes to get Akane and me hitched, and blaming me when Akane was a bitch. At least Cologne and Happosai had both backed off.

As I'm sure you can guess, I was getting desperate. I even tried to tell mom that I liked guys so she would disown me after I refused to kill my self. I've never told Duo I went that far. He'd a had me locked up so fast… Anyway, she only heard what she wanted to, and decided that I was such a manly man because I was so interested in girls. I just about screamed.

In any case, that was about the time Duo sent me an email as a joke, "The Top Ten Ways To Get Rid of Unwanted Women". Sad to say, there were only three things I hadn't already tried, killing them, killing me, and one that I'm sure he made up especially for me, getting pregnant. Since the first option was out of the question, and I really didn't want to have to kill myself if I could avoid it, I decided to try option three. If I managed to get myself pregnant, no one would be able to ignore me when I said I wasn't going to marry any of the girls because I preferred men. I also figured that carrying my mother's first grandchild would help me convince her not to make me kill myself.

Once I'd decided this was a good idea, I started thinking about who's kid I wanted to have.

No, I wasn't totally rational at this point.

After some thought I created a list of 'potential donors' and started figuring out who I wanted as the father of my baby. Even to begin with the list was very short and by the time I was done it was down to two, maybe three people. Right away I scratched off Doc Tofu because I knew how he felt about Kasumi, and Pantyhose Taro because I really didn't want to be raped. I eventually decided that while Mousse was cute without the glasses, his vision or rather lack there of knocked him out of the running as did Ryouga's inherited lack of any sense of direction despite his having the sexiest butt I'd ever seen. Herb I didn't trust not to try to keep me as breeding stock, Saffron was too young besides being likely to kill me if he could.

In the end I decided that the only ones I trusted enough to let close enough ta get me pregnant were Duo, Heero, Wufei, Kat, and Trowa. Kat and Trowa had been a couple since before I'd met them so I took them off the list. That left me with Duo and Heero as my first choices to father my baby, since if I asked Wufei and he somehow agreed, we'ed have to get Sally Po's permission and help to do it artificially. Since I knew that Duo played both sides of the field and that Heero prefered men the only problem I could think of was that they were probably a couple. So I asked Kat just to make sure. When he told me that they were together I thought that that was the end of the pregnancy idea until I got the idea to ask them both of them at the same time if they'd be willing to get me pregnant.

I repeat, no I wasn't thinking staight at this point, not at all

Anyways, with this idea in mind I sent off a message in response to Duo's email addressed to both him and Heero asking if they would be willing to get me pregnant. Duo, obviously thinking I was joking, sent me back an email asking when I had in mind. It wasn't until I sent him a response with dates I would be fertile and an offer to come visit them when the time was right that he figured out that I was serious.

He was not happy.

As it turned out neither were Wufei or Heero. Sally, I found out later, thought it was one of the funniest things she'd ever heard.

In the end the guys managed to get me out of Nerima, back to headquarters with them, rid of all the fiancees, and into the Preventor's Agent training program. Trying to explain why the report on my personal history is thicker than the unabridged phone book for the entire Sank kingdom got me a visit to a shrink for a psyciatric evalutation.

I can see by the look on your face that you think I'm nuts. Yeah, well that's your problem. Though I gotta admit, I probably wouldn't believe me either if I hadn't lived through this crap. So I guess I'd better start at the beginning huh?

Where to start...

Hah! This whole mess started the day two new students joined my class at Furinken High School in Nerima. At first glance they both looked kinda young to be juniors, that is until I got a closer look at them. If you payed attention, their eyes looked much older than their faces, though the one with the braid hid it better than the Chinese boy…

AN: Hi people! No I am not dead and so far, neither is this fic or Demon's Angel. As I hope you've noticed, I've done a bit of rewriting on the prologue to hopefully smooth things out a bit. Let me know if this is an improvement or not, and yes I am aware of the fact that there are spelling troubles, the only computer I've currently got real access to doesn't have a spell check. I'm hoping to have a new chapter for Demon's Angel out with in the week, but am not going to make any promises.

I don't suppose anyone would be interested in beta reading chapters?


	2. Chapter 2

**You've Got Mail**

AN/Disclaimer: the characters and settings of Gundam Wing and Ranma ½ are not mine and never will be. I'm just borrowing them to play with. This is and AU crossover fic. Look out for het and yaoi relationships as well as for OCC ness.

**Chapter One: The arrival of Dana Maxwell**

It started just like every other damn day has since me an' Pops started livin' with the Tendo's, with me getting' wet and turnin' inta a girl.

SPLASH!

One three point landing in the koi pond. Least this time I landed face up, always a good thing. Less chance of swallowing water if I hit my head and get knocked out again. Damn near drowned a couple a times, at least after the last time Pops started fishing me out if I didn't surface quick 'nough.

Any ways back to the story.

It started like most days at the Tendo's. A quick trip to the koi pond followed by sparring with Pops until Kasumi called us for breakfast. A quick splash of hot water, a change of clothes, eating quick while fighting Pops for food, then grabbing my school bag and out the door to school.

The first sign that it was gonna be a weird day was my gettin' to school early. Akane had pissed me off so I ran on ahead and got a good seat to watch her bash the hentai hoard like she did every mornin'. She was doin' good, smashing through those geeks like a freight train, guys and equipment flyin' every where. I settled back to enjoy the show 'til I saw that one of 'em was gonna land on a girl with a long braid who was hangin' out by the main doors into the school. I jumped outta the tree an' hauled her an' the guy she was talkin' to outta the way just before the soccer player Akane bashed their way landed on 'em.

Ya know, I usually didn't pay much attention to girls, but man she was pretty, big purple eyes, a cute nose, nice lips, and the longest braid I'd ever seen. She was prettier than Shampoo, an' I'd never seen her before. It wasn't 'til she asked me to put her down that I realized I was standin' there starin', with her in one arm and the fella she'd been talkin' to about to blow a fuse in the other. I can remember her giggling when I blushed and stuttered while I put 'em both down fast as I could without dropping 'em. I remember sayin' sorry and backin' away red as a beet before turnin' and headin' up to class in a daze.

The second crush I'd ever had, not that I realized that's what it was, and as I found out later, She was a He…

But never mind that, I'll explain later, back to the story.

The girl with the braid was the second person I'd ever had a crush on, and the first one just about bust a gut when she came in to the classroom only to see me starin' outta the window with a silly grin on my face. Soon as she saw me, Akane started yellin' and callin' me a pervert. Seems she saw me pull the girl outta the way and forget to let go. If Miss Hinako hadn't come in right then, she woulda used that mallet of her's to send me flyin' out the window. But the teacher did show up, an' she had to sit down like everyone else.

Miss Hinako did all the usual things, announcements and such, same old thing as every day, 'til she said that we had a couple of new exchange students coming in to the class, Dana Maxwell and Chang Wufei. For a second I thought what if… then shrugged it off, knowin' my luck was too shitty for somethin' like that to happen. Course who walked in to the classroom but the pair I'd grabbed outta the way earlier.

Up 'til that point, I'd been slouched down starin' at the front of the room bored outta my mind. I was surprised enough to end up sittin' straight at my desk for once. Lookin' at 'em at the front of the room, I noticed somethin' I'd missed before. The guy, Chang, had a sword strapped to his back. This told me just how flustered Dana Maxwell had me, 'cause the sword an' the way Chang moved weren't the sort of things I usually missed.

In any case, as it turned out, the only free seats in the room were next to me and Akane. I could feel the glares from all of the guys in the class, I got to sit next to not only the most sought after girl in school, who I just happened to be engaged to, but I also got to sit next to the pretty new girl too. But hell, guys glarin' at me was something I was pretty well used to by then, so it really didn't bug me at all.

The way Chang glared at me as he sat down at his desk was somethin' else altogether. Not even Ryouga at his worst could match this guy. I just hoped that he wouldn't decide he had to attack me every chance he got like Ryouga, Mousse, and Kuno. If he did, hopefully he'd at least make a half decent sparring partner, one Kuno wasa more than enough. All he was good for was a punching bag, occassionaly useful as a way to get rid of frustration, but usually just in the way. Chang on the other hand looked like he might actually put up a decent fight.

At the moment though, I was more interested in the girl following him, so after a quick assesment to figure out if he was going to be trouble, I focused on her. As she got closer to the empty seat next to me she shook her head, rolled her eyes at Chang and grinned at me. I couldn't help but grin back and for some reason she turned a bit pink, lowered her eyes, and hurried to sit down. Man she was so cute.

Of course Akane just had to tell them I was her fiancée just as soon as she possibly could. She'd seen how I'd looked at the girl, and even though she didn't want me herself, she wasn't about to let anyone else have me either. What a pain in the ass that girl was. At least while I was engaged to Nabiki she pretended to want me. Yeah, I knew it was a lie when she said she loved me, only thing that girl loves is money.

After that, besides the occasional blistering glares from Chang, and U-chan, class went same as usual till lunch time. Rather than sit in nany of my usual places where Akane, Ukyo, or Shampoo would be able to find me, I sat about half way up one of the trees near the school, in a spot where I could see preety much everything in front of the school but where no one could see me. I even did my best to supress my ki signature so Shampoo couldn't track that either. At the time I wouldn't have admitted it, but I was lookin' for Dana Maxwell. Even then I had it bad.

It was nice eatin' alone, not bein' bugged by my fiancées, and even better, I got to watch the new girl with out anyone knowing what I was doin', which was exactly what I did. I was kinda surprised to find myself pissed off when most of the guys around my age who were crowded around her and trying to get close enouogh to flirt. Chang chased 'em off pretty quick though, so it didn't bug me too bad. Idiot that I was I didn't figure out 'til later that I'd been jealous.

Back in the class room after lunch, but before Akane and Ukyo got back, I got up the nerve to go over to her, even with Chang nearby, an' apologize for what I'd done that morning. She just laughed and thanked me for getting her and the big grump outta the way of the gut who was gonna hit 'em. Then she started flirting with me an' I found myself flirting back until I couldn't stand Chang glarin' at me anymore. So I asked him what his problem was. Dana, she asked me ta call her that, just elbowed him and called him grumpy and overprotective. He just scowled at her and told her that that was his job.

She laughed at him and told him he wasn't really her older brother and that she could take care of herself. He raised an eyerbrow and asked if she really thought that would stop him.

The two of them had fun arguing back and forth until Miss Hinako came back from lunch. In the meantime I was doin' my best not to laugh. I also learned that the two were best friends, that they'd both attended the same school in the US, and that they were living with some other exchange students from different countries. We were havin' fun until Akane showed up, started yellin at me about not being around to eat the lunch she made me and demanding that I eat it now. I told her no way was I gonna eat it, that I didn't want to end up in the hospital again thanks to one of he biological weapons, and that in any case it was too late to eat anything since class was about to start.

I'm sure she would have sent me flying if Miss Hinako hadn't walked in the door at that moment. As it was Akane huffed back to her seat after the teacher forced her to put away that damn mallet of hers. As a result I was feelin' pretty good as I settled in and prepared to spend most of the afternoon bored out of my mind.

I spent more time awake and listening than usual that afternoon. Chang kept poking me awake whenever I started dozing off, he claimed my snoring was too distractin'. Akane glared and Dana just giggled at us.

ooOOoo--

After class, me and Chang left together, arguin' about somthin' from the history lesson while Dana followed us tryin' not to laugh and Akane stomped along in the read fuming at the lack of attention.

I knew Akane and U-chan were mad at me, but to tell you the truth, I couldn't have cared less. Turned out that Dana an' Chang had to go the same way I did, so we kept on a talkin' 'til we got to the dojo, where I stopped and said I'd see 'em tomorrow. By then Akane was really pissed off. She'd been followin' us since we'd left school, and seemed to feel that my not walkin' on the fence like I usually did was an insult to her. So of course she hit me with that damn mallet of hers as soon as Dana and Chang were out of sight, sendin' me flyin' as usual, this time towards Juuban.

As I flew over Nerima, I saw Dana an' Chang goin' up to a house. After what Dana had told me at school I wasn't surprised to see two more boys turn into the same yard. Since both looked foreign, I figured they were the other exchange students Dana had talked about. As I continued my flight to Juuban I realized that while I wished she didn't live with so many guys I was happy that I knew where Dana lived.

That evening at supper, after I finally got back to the dojo, Akane starated bitchin' about me ignoring her and 'fawning' all over the new girl. Naturally the little bitch left out the fact that I spent at least as much time talking to the new boy. As usual I didn't get a chance to explain, much less defend my self, before Pops and Akane's dad were accusing me of being unfaithful, yelling and wailing about what a horrible, honorless son/fiance I was.

Much to my suprise Nabiki came to my rescue. She poured the rest of her lemonade on Pops and asked her dad if he was going to accuse me of flirting with the new boy in my class as well since her sources told her I spent more time talaking to him than I did talking to the new girl. She also told Akane to quit being such a whiny, jealous little girl because it wasn't like she wanted me for herself anyway. Then she got up and left.

Other than Kasumi's "Oh My", there wasn't a sound to be heard around the table other than Pops grumbling to himself as a panda. I was almost scared to look over and see Akane's response to Nabiki's last comment. Of course the lack of a demand from Nabiki regarding payment for helping me did nothing to make me less nervous, in fact it made it worse because I knew she was going to eventually ask for something worse than money. When I finally did peek in Akane's direction, I was just in time to see her mouth snap shut as a red flush of fury crept up her face, and I knew exactly what was going to happen next if I didn't get out of mallet range right away.

I was almost too late. I saw her mallet appear just as I started to run.

Later that evening I asked Nabiki what I owed her for her help. All I could do was groan when she waved away my wallet and told me that I owed her a favor in return for her aid at supper, and that she'd call it due when she needed it.

I really wished she'd emptied my wallet instead.

AN: First things first. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prologue. Just a couple of things that might help this make more sense. First of all this story is written from Ranma's prespective after he's left Nerima for good. It's meant to read like he's telling you what happened from his point of view. From his perspective the events in this chapter happened more than a year ago while the events in the prologue, the email from Duo telling him they are getting him out of Nerima, happened less than two months ago. Secondly, you have to remember that Ranma at the time of his deciding who he wanted to father the baby he was going to use to get rid of the fianees was slightly mentally unhinged, a bit around the bend if you will. At least that's how I'm trying to portray him at that point. Driven to desperation and starting to go a little nuts.

Also I'd like to thank Honor and lilmizflashythang for their offers to beta. unfortunately I'm having a bit of trouble accessing you email addresses in your profiles so I'd really appreciate it if you'd be willing to put them in the reviews for this chapter so I can contact you. Thanks.

a


	3. Chapter 3

AN: the characters and settings of Gundam Wing AC and Ranma ½ do not belong to me, I'm just borrowing them to play with. OOC, AU, Yaoi, and X-over warnings.

**You've got mail**

**Chapter 2**

The next mornin' Pops slept in an' I woke up before Akane could douse me, so for once I got to wake up as a guy. It was a good but really strange feelin'. Between Pops wakin' me up by throwin' me in the koi pond an' Akane's buckets of ice water, it'd only happened a few times since Pops'd hauled me to Jusenkyo. Way I figured it, wakin' up dry was a good sign.

So I hopped outta bed, grabbed my clothes, locked myself in the bathroom so Nabiki couldn't try for photos while I got cleaned up an' dressed, then went downstairs to help Kasumi with breakfast. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not usually helpful, but why not? I was in a real good mood. An' this way, I got to pack my own lunch.

I was sittin' at the table eatin' my breakfast an' readin' when Nabiki came in with her coffee an' saw me with a book. At first she didn't seem to notice as she went by, but then her head whipped back around to really look at me an' she started coughin' an' spluterin'…

It was one of the funniest damn things I've ever seen. When Pops spotted me, after Nabiki went back upstairs to change, he started yellin' at me for bein' a pansy an' whining 'bout his son turning into a girly bookworm. Even though I wanted to swat him, I had a test to study for, so I splashed him with cold water, ignored most of his signs, an' ducked the ones he tried to hit me with.

When Akane finally came down, she started givin' me shit 'bout Dana Maxwell even before she sat at the table. I gave it right back, tellin' her I that saw the way she'd been lookin' at Chang. To tell you the truth, I was bluffin', but since she shut up right quick, I figured I was on to somethin' useful.

Instead of hammerin' it to death like I usually would've, I decided to keep it to use later when I really needed it. Instead I smirked at her before grabbin' my stuff an' takin' off out the front door. Akane tried to run after me, but couldn't keep up. Once I'd managed to loose her, I headed over to the house I'd seen Chang and Dana goin' in to the day before. Since school didn't start for at least another half hour, I figured Chang an' Dana, I'd already started callin' her that in my head, hadn't left yet an' I might be able to walk with 'em. Turns out I was wrong, an' I spotted 'em already on their way. So I joined 'em.

It kinda surprised me when they didn't jump when I landed beside 'em. As it turned out, Chang had spotted me before I spotted them, so they were expectin' me. I was kinda disappointed, I'd expected them to jump an' they didn't. In any case, they did seem to think it was a neat way to travel since Dana started askin' me questions and Chang didn't once tell her to be quiet. By the time we'd reached school Dana'd asked me if I could teach her to roof-hop, and Chang seemed pretty interested too. I could almost see his ears straining to catch what I said from where he was walkin' in front of us.

I told her it was really only a matter of trainin', so yeah, maybe she could learn to roof-hop at some point, but I couldn't really promise her anythin'.

That started Chang askin' questions about my trainin'. I answered his questions, but I could tell he didn't really believe me when I told him some of the stuff Pops had done while he was trainin' me.

By that time, we'd arrived at school, an' there was Akane, dealin' with the last of the hentai hoard an' lookin' royally pissed. I figured it was because she was mad at me for not bein' at school when she got there.

Huh, as far as I was concerned, that was her problem. I was tired of putting up with her bruised ego and the rest of her crap when ever I did something she couldn't.

Lookin' back, I can tell that by that point my crush on Akane was dying. Of course havin' Dana around sort of kick started the process an' sped it up, but any good feelin's I'd had for Akane had already started to dissolve before then. By the time the guys left Nerima, the only reason I saved Akane from the stuff shegot herself into was 'cause I knew mom'd kill me and Kasumi would be upset if the tomboy got seriously hurt.

Now back to the story.

As soon as we were through the gates, Kuno just _had _to shove his damned, pointy, nose into things. After his usual speil about the fierce tigress Akane and the pigtailed goddess, he spotted Dana and added a third girl to his list to free from my 'terrible grasp'.

He walked up to her doing his noble samurai act, grabbed her hand, bowed and kissed it. She stood there shocked into silence. He, idot that he is, took he lack of response as speechless admiration and tried to kiss her. Just as I was about to knock the moron into the sky, Chang beat me to the punch.

'Course, he didn't punch the idiot, he struck him across the back of the neck with his own bokken while pulling Dana out of his grip. But hey, that counts right? After all the moron still ended up unconsious.

With Kuno out a the picture for a bit, Akane charged up ready to send me flyin'.

She was so mad about me payin' attention to another girl, especially one she didn't know, that if she'd hit me, I'd have ended up halfway across Tokyo. Instead she was forced to stop when Chang stepped in her way while checkin' to make sure that Dana was fine. When Akane shifted to go around him, he moved into her way again. He did this, all the while checkin' Dana for damage, until Akane, red in the face an' pissed as hell, stomped away.

At first I thought Chang had done it all by accident, but then he looked at me and winked.

I nearly hurt myself tryin' not to laugh.

That's when the warning bell rang an' we all rushed in to get to class on time. I ended up payin' a lot more attention in class that mornin' than normal, what with Chang pokin' me awake when I started noddin' off an' Dana giggling every time he did it.

It was when the lunch bell rang an' we headed outside that my day started goin' seriously down hill. 'Ring-ring ring-ring CRUNCH!' and "Nihao airen!". Shampoo had arrived, an' as usual she landed on me.

"Hello Shampoo…" I groaned, my face planted in the dirt as she sat on her bike, front tire planted between my shoulder blades.

"Who new girl?" came the icy question above me.

" That's Dana Maxwell, the guy with her is Chang Wufei. Met 'em yesterday.", was my breathless reply.

"Oh." I felt her feet shift as she turned to look at Dana. "Just remember braid girl, Ranma mine."

I was relieved when Shampoo finally got off of her bike, rolled it to the ground and placed a take-out box next to my head.

"Too, too, good raman for airen. Shampoo go now, finish deliveries." She then got back on the bike and zoomed off.

I stayed where I was an' after a moment of silence Chang asked if I was OK. I told him I was fine, just waited for Akane to show up an' smack me. I could hear her stomping towards me, growling. This time Dana was the one who got in her way trying to check her intended victim for prior damage. Akane just got madder and of course blamed it all on me. "Ranma you pervert!"

For once I just kept my mouth shut. I was really kinda curious to see what Dana an' Chang would do this time.

From the corner of my eye I could see Akane start to swing at me even though by doin' so she would hit Dana too. I jumped to stop her as Chang cut the head off of the mallet. Akane nearly fell over onto her face without the extra weight behind her shoulder.

Sadly, all I could do was laugh. I did my best not too since I knew she was gonna hurt me for it later, but man, the look on her face!

She just about exploded, she was soooo pissed, an' all she could do was stand there an' fume while Chang lectured her about how attacking a defenseless man was dishonorable an' injust, an' how if she tried it again he'd destroy that mallet too.

I spent the whole time tryin' not to laugh out loud. I musta been damn near purple if the looks Dana was shootin' me said anythin'.

In any case, after havin' to explain to Chang the whole fianacee situation when he asked why Shampoo called me her husband while I claimed to be engaged to Akane, the rest of the day at school went pretty well. Akane stayed the hell away from me an' Ukyo gone for the day, so I spent the rest of the afternoon bein' laughed at by Dana an' bein' poked awake by Chang when ever I dozed off in class. I even passed the history test no problem thanks to the readin' I'd been doin' an' stayin' awake in class.

The trip home was somethin' entirely different. As soon as we'd split from Chang and Dana, Akane started yellin' at me and pullin' out that damn mallet of hers. I mean sure, I got all of the normal drives an' urges of a guy my age, but come on, just because I can't help turnin' into a girl doesn't mean I'm a pervert.

But of course, just because the girl had issues she grouped me with the idiot Kuno an' that damn letch Happosai. Hell, wasn't my fault she ignored the damn in use sign an' walked in on me takin' a bath.

As I've said before, that girl has issues, an'one of these days she's gonna really hurt someone. An' you know what? Even if I ain't anywhere near her the little bitch is still gonna say it's my fault.

Anyway, we got home an' Akane just had to tell everyone _her_ version of the day, which got Pops an' Mr. Tendo pissed at me, again, as usual.

What made me mad was that the morons refused to even listen to my side of things. Not that they ever do…

In any case I think Kasumi at least heard me out 'cause supper was somethin' I liked an' Akane hated, an' I know I saw the fixin's for her favorite stirfry out earlier.

That evenin' Nabiki called in one of the favors that I owed her. To my surprise what she wanted me to do wasn't really all that bad. All she had me do was deliver a package to her second in command , a letter to a specific post office in Tokyo, and bring her back a pint of her favorite ice cream, bought with my money of course. Still, compared to what she usually made me do it was a walk in the park.

That night I went to sleep thinkin' about Dana, an' as a result my dreams were some of the best I'd ever had...

In the mornin'things were back to normal. Pops woke me up at the crack of dawn by tossing me into the koi pond, an' Akane an' Nabiki beat me to breakfast. I still managed to leave early with Akane tryin' to catch me.

I headed over to Chang and Dana's place as soon as I was sure that I'd lost her. We were nearly to school an' I can remember thinkin' that it was nice not havin' worry about the Ladle Lady splashin' when it happened.

Yeah you guessed it. SPLASH! An old mand soaked me with a bucket of water.

Damn curse was back in effect.

I could feel my body changin', shrinkin', parts disappearin' or getting bigger some places, an' smaller in others. One of the creepiest feelin's I know.

It didn't help that both Chang an' Dana were lookin' at me when it happened, though to tell ya the truth the looks on their faces was damn funny. They just stared at me, surprised as hell. I guessed it was the first they'd ever heard of much less seen a Jusenkyo curse.

I'm tellin' ya, it was damn funny, almost worth the change. Both of their eyes was so wide they was like to pop outta their heads. Chang's mouth was hangin' open in shock an' I could see red creepin' up his neck as he stared at my new shape. Dana was actually too surprised to say anythin' at all at first. Her mouth was hangin' open too, an' she kept makin' squeakin' noises like a little mouse.

All I could do was roll my eyes an' start to explain 'bout Jusenkyo. I could tell they didn't really believe me. That changed after they saw that the same thing happened to Mousse an' Shampoo too.

AN: reviews are always appreciated, Flames will be used as Kleenex, and many thanks go my beta readers Honor and lilmizflashythang.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: the characters and settings of Gundam Wing AC and Ranma ½ do not belong to me, I'm just borrowing them to play with.

OOC (out of character) , AU (alternate universe), Yaoi (male/male relationships), and Crossover warnings.

**You've got mail**

**Chapter 3**

After changin' into a girl in front of my new friends first thing, the rest of that day went down hill pretty fast. To save time I'm only gonna give ya the highlights.

Ukyo was back and started actin' jealous 'bout me bein' friendly with Chang and Dana, and as a result spent the rest of the day pissin' me off by bein' damn clingy. That made Akane even madder at me which nearly got me a flight by Akane Air 'til Chang cut the head off of that mallet too. So now she was mad at both of us.

Then the teacher assigned a research project to be done in fours. Akane an' Ukyo ended up even more pissed off at me because before either of 'em could get to me to tell me I was working with them, I'd already asked Chang an' Dana if I could work with them, an' we'd decided to save the open spot for a friend of theirs that was gonna be showin' up in a couple of days.

By the time Akane and Ukyo stopped tryin' to 'convince' me to join one of 'em everyone else they wanted to work with had already formed thier groups, so they ended up working with Gosunkugi in a three person team.

Gos was thrilled.

They were royally pissed, and I knew they'd be tryin' to take it out on me just as soon as class let out.

As it turned out, most of the rest of the class was upset with me too.

The guys were mad because they couldn't ask Dana to work with 'em, which would give them an advantage in tryin' to ask her on a date. The girls were annoyed because they couldn't ask either of the new kids to work with 'em. Chang because most of 'em thought he was a hottie even if he did look kinda young, an' Dana because she was friendly an' nice enough that most of them wanted to make friends with her, and maybe get a chance to catch one of the guys she refused a date with. Only a couple girls were jealous enough to hate her because all of the guys wanted to ask her out.

In any case at lunch things only got worse, and not only did I fail to calm down Akane and Ukyo, Shampoo showed up followed by Mousse. Thanks to the resulting mess, I ended up explainin' not only about the whole fiancée mess that Pops had gotten me into, but also how I'd ended up engaged to a Chinese Amazon thanks to his stomach.

I still don't know why she thought it was so funny, but Dana ended up laughin' herself silly while Chang started fumin' 'bout injustice and comin' up with ideas for things to do to Pops in revenge. I really liked some of his ideas, specially the ones with explosives either tied to Pops tail or ducktaped to his knees, but they still didn't make up for what led to the explanation.

Thankfully things leveled off after lunch. In fact, things were really pretty quiet 'til Ryouga showed up just as school got out. As usual he accused me of hurting Akane and attacked with no other warning. Everyone at school knows to stay out of our way when we fight and the fight was pretty normal 'til he threw that damn umbella of his an' damn near hit Dana. It would've too if Chang hadn't pulled her outta the way.

That's when I decided it was time to get serious and end the fight before he hurt anyone. Fightin' Ryouga so much, I've found only a couple of ways to truly end a fight. I have to either knock him out, or knock him far enough away that he gets lost trying to find me again to keep fighting. Since I really didn't want to have to carry him to the dojo, I used his umbrella to send him flyin'.

I know I didn't get the kind of distance that Akane usually does when she sends me into the sky, but then it's not something I either practice or everyday like she does. In any case I kept the umbrella with me as I did my best to stay out of mallet range while Akane chased me home. About half way there the chase ended when Akane spotted P-chan shivering beside Ryouga's pack. He must a landed in water somewhere nearby, or been splashed after landing. I gave him a bad time as usual but couldn't dodge as quick with his pack on so I ended up getting a trip by Akane Air.

It suprised the hell out of me when I woke up, but for once she actually sent me somewhere I wanted go. Though the landin' woulda been damn embarrassin' if I'd actually been awake for it.

I came to on a futon with Dana lookin' at me an' holdin' a wet rag. As soon as she saw my eyes were open she dropped the rag and ran out the door. She must have gone to get Chang who showed up a few minutes later with Dana and some blonde kid in tow.

Which was how I met Quatre Winner, or Kat as they were callin' him, flat on my back lookin' like a pitiful mess. Not how ya wanna meet a guy livin' in the same house as a girl you like, believe you me.

When Chang finally decided that no real damage had been done and I was fine he asked what'd happened to me. I was a bit suprised when he told me that they'd found me draped over Ryouga's pack in a crater in the backyard. When I told him that Akane had sent flyin' again he growled and his left eyebrow started to twitch. At least 'till I told him why she'd hit me, and about Ryouga bein' her pet pig P-chan, he stopped bein' pissed at her an' got pissed at Ryouga.

I'll admit I just stared at him when he started rantin' 'bout injustice an' honorless pigs. After a few minutes of watchin' him get more and more worked up, I asked Kat if Chang was gonna bust somethin'. Kat told me that this was somethin' he did pretty regularly and that so far he'd never hurt himself.

All I could think to do was apologize for settin' him off.

Kat laughed, shrugged it off an' invited me to dinner. Of course I stayed, at least in part because Dana refused to let me go home 'til Akane'd had time to cool down. I coulod have told her that me stayin' away wasn't gonna help that at all, but since I was more'n happy to have an excuse to stay away from the dojo for a bit I just kept my mouth shut.

At supper I met a couple of other guys, Triton Bloom who had the strangest hair I'd ever seen, and Odin Yuy who was, I noticed, was only part Japanese.

I think they thought I didn't notice, but Yuy was pissed 'bout me bein' there for some reason and kept tryin' to glare me into leavin'. So while he kept an eye on me, I kept an eye on him and answered questions.

I even ended up tellin' stories 'bout how Pops trained me after Chang asked me what kinda trainin' I'd had and then asked if I could teach him some things. Of course no one even pretended to believe me 'bout most of it 'til I showed 'em the scars from the Neko-ken and changed into a girl and back, but I still got the feelin' that they didn't really believe me.

In any case, I when finally I got home Pops was waitin' to lecture me 'bout keepin' Akane happy and bein' a dutiful son. Which meant doin' everythin' he told me to do. I ignored him an' headed for the stairs. When he tried to smack me for not wastin' my time listenin' to him, I hit him right back and made sure to do it hard enough to knock him out. After turnin' him into a panda and haulin' him outside to sleep, I went upstairs, got ready for bed, and settled down to do some homework for once.

After the first couple of days things settled into a pretty regular pattern.

Wake up before Pops, toss him out the window and spar before breakfast, get cleaned up , eat, then race off to catch Chang, Dana, and Yuy on the way to school. Smash Kuno if Akane hadn't got to him yet, go to class, spend most of the morning tryin' not to fall asleep in class, try to avoid fiancées at lunch, more class, then head home. Fight Pops 'til supper, eat, then hide on the roof to do homework if it wasn't rainin' or lock myself in the guestroom if it was. About twice a week the four of us, me Chang, Yuy, an' Dana, would get together at their place or, more rarely, the dojo to work on our research project. If we met at the dojo, they stayed for supper, same if I was over there only afterwards I'd spar with Chang an' Yuy.

Except for the usual battles with Ryouga and Mousse that was how the days went for almost three weeks. After the first couple of weeks spendin' time at the guy's place, I started noticin' a few odd things. Like gun oil and rags in the livin' room one evenin', bloody bandages in the bathroom trashcan, and the fact that they had a full med kit instead of a first aid kit. The lack of foster parents was somethin' that I'd noticed my second night over there, but didn't ask about. Also I didn't ask why one or more of the guys would dissapear for up to two days at a time.

Somehow I knew that askin' questions would be askin' for trouble. So instead I started tryin' to figure it out on my own.

After 'bout a week a watchin' an' seein' one or two of 'em leavin' for a bit every night and tryin' to figure out where they went, I managed to follow Yuy in the rain one night.

He went to a warehouse near the docks, used a keypad thingy and slipped inside. I was about to try to get a better look when Dana came strollin' up. But somethin' was wrong. She was wearin' pants an' her chest was flat!

She was a guy!

My first guess was Jusenkyo, but spillin' hot an cold water on her later didn't do anythin' so I figured she had to be a guy pretendin' to be a girl.

By that time I was so confused I didn't know what to do. So I just kept on watchin', hopin' I'd see somethin' to help me figure out what was goin' on at some point.

It was a couple of days after findin' out that Dana was a guy that I started tryin' to figure out just exactly what I felt about her now that I knew she was ...well, a him. After a couple of days of thinkin', I finally figured out that while I knew I was interested in Dana in the same way I used to be interested in Akane, findin' out she was a he hadn't changed my feelin's at all.

You remember me mentioning nearly drownin' in the bathtub? That was when I finally figured it out, and I did the only thing I could do.

I freaked out.

ooOOoo

I spent half a week tryin' to convince myself that I was imagining things. That I wasn't still interested in Dana that way after findin' out she was a guy.

It didn't work.

Especially after the dreams started an' I began wakin' up to damp sheets an' boxers. In an attempt to get my mind away from Dana, I raided Pop's stash of girly magazines an' took off for a couple of days to try to replace what my libido was tellin' me with what I knew should have been there. While that worked for a little bit, by the morning of the third day guy's bits had replaced the girl's bits again.

It was at that point that I headed home, depressed as hell that the best dreams I'd ever had were gonna get me killed. All I could think about was Mom findin' out that I was attracted to a guy an' makin' me cut my self open.

ooOOoo

I got back to the dojo just in time to clean up an' go to school. There I stayed as far away from Dana, Chang, an' Yuy as possible. I tried to use Akane as a sheild as lunch but ended up hiding in a tree anyways. Afterwards, I waited 'til everyone else was settled and took a chair as far away from Dana as I could find and did my best to ignore her.

That only lasted 'til school got out.

Soon as the teacher had left, Dana marched over to my desk on the other side of the classroom, grabbed my ear, twisted it an' used it to pull me out the door ans down the hall. Just before she got me, I spotted Chang an' Yuy followin' him.

Next thing I knew, s..he was pullin' me into an empty room, pushin' me into a chair, an' orderin' me ta tell her... him just what the hell my problem was. When I didn't even look at her she grabbed my bangs and pulled up 'til my eyes had to follow. Then he started buggin' me 'bout why I was avoidin' her.

She kept at me 'til I couldn't stand it any more. I guess I coulda just left, but somehow I didn't even think of it. So I told him I'd figured out that I was interested in a guy. She just stared at me an' asked what my problem was then.

All I could do was stare at her...him and blush. There was no way I was gonna tell her that he made me realize that I was interested in guys too, or at least one guy in particular. And there was no way in hell that I was gonna tell him of all people just what my brain'd been comin' up with at night during the last week. So I blurted out that it was wrong, guy's were supposed to be interested in girls not other guys, an' that my mother would kill me if she found out 'bout this.

After a couple of minutes just lookin' at me, he pulled me outta the chair she'd put me in an' headed towards her house with me in tow.

Soon as we were somewhere private she sat me down again an' started to give me a lecture. I learned things from that 'little' talk that I'd never thought 'bout, much less heard 'bout, before. Some of them I'd rather not have known 'bout.

By the time he was done, supper was over, I had some extra homework to do, an' I'd finally calmed down an' started thinkin' 'bout what she'd told me instead of panicking 'bout bein' interested in guys. To tell the truth, I was feelin' better 'bout the whole thing, but I still knew my mom was gonna kill me if she ever found out 'bout this.

ooOOoo

It was more than a month after Dana an' Chang had showed up at school an' 'bout a week an' a half afer that little talk, when Akane, mad as hell because she thought I'd been sneakin' off to see Ukyo an' Shampoo, sent me flyin' towards the harbor again. Only this time she hit me so hard that I somehow ended up landin' on the roof of the warehouse I'd been watchin'. Of course I ended up goin' straight through the roof, an' makin' a hole in the floor, but the main thing is what I saw before I blacked out.

I saw Gundams.

AN: Reviews are always appreciated, especially if they help me write. Many, Many thanks to Honor and lilmizflashythang for Betaing.

AN2: Just a couple of things people.

First, the gennder confusion on Ranma's part regarding Duo in the second half of this chapter is done on purpose.

Second: READ THE WARNINGS. If you don't like what I've written for a reason that's posted in the warnings it's your problem, don't yell at ME.

This fic is posted as AU: alternate universe, OOC: out of character, and Yaoi: male/male relationships. If you are offended by any of these things

and read the fic anyway because you either ignore the warnings or want to torment yourself, it's your own damn fault.

Review responses:

Honor and lilmizflashythang: again many thanks for the offer to beta read for me and for the reviews

Death the Destroyer: to you a great big raspberry. dprrrrrrt.

Ranma Hibiki: it's not nice to tell someone they've got problems with out telling them what the problem is, also I will be updating fairly regularly for a bit.

MarkerIV and lastbastion: thank you, I'm glad you like it, and there is more on it's way.

Innortal: Thanks, I've tried to do a good job with the POV. Ranma's not going to start actively losing his mind until well after the guys leave Nerima. Cumulative stress you know...

Tower of Babel: Another great big raspberry and a word of advice, READ THE WARNINGS! idiot


	5. Chapter 5

AN: the characters and settings of Gundam Wing AC and Ranma ½ do not belong to me, I'm just borrowing them to play with. OOC, AU, Yaoi, and X-over warnings.

**You've got mail**

**Chapter 4**

So there I was again, wakin' up in a strange place after gettin' knocked out thanks to Akane and her damn temper

Later Duo told me I was out for 'bout a hour before I woke up, but to me no time at all passed between landing head-first on concrete and wakin' up tied to a chair with people arguing next to me. Since I had no clue what was goin' on, I kept my eyes shut and my breathin' regular. How to fake bein' asleep after wakin' up was somethin' I'd figured out to fool Pops.

It was also something I used regularly on Nabiki during her 'sleeping Ranma' photo shoots.

Pretendin' to still be unconsious, I listened to the people next to me. At first I was relieved when I recognized Kat, Yuy and Chang's voices, though the guy who sounded a lot like Dana had mea bit confused at first. Still, I was glad I hadn't opened my eyes right away because they were arguin' about what to do with me.

Of course, as soon as I heard Kat tell Yuy to keep his mouth shut cause they certainly weren't gonna shoot me my eyes popped open an' I knocked myself over backwards tryin' to stand up so I could get out of there. I must've yelped or somethin' because I saw them spin to look at me just as I tipped over. However, I do remember yelling when I landed with my hands smashed between the back of the chair and the floor just before my head hit the concrete.

This time I wasn't knocked unconsious but things still got real blurry for a bit. I do remember bein' rolled on to my side, picked up off of the floor, and then layed down on somethin' flat and tryin' not to puke when they sat me up again to untie my hands.

Everything was pretty fuzzy there for a while, and I don't really remember much, but I must've fallen asleep because I woke up on the couch back at the guys house.

Wakin' up and seein' Yuy messin' with a gun scared the crap outta me because one thing I did remember was what they'd been arguin' about before I knocked myself over, and at that point even I wasn't fast enough to dodge a bullet. Escpecially with a concussion.

I was relieved when he only glared at me and then left. He must have gone to get the other guys because they all showed up a couple of minutes later.

Kat looked me over while the other guys, and the guy who was Dana, stood around us and watched. Kat even did the whole light in the eyes thing and all the other stuff Doc Tofu does when ever Akane knocks me silly. He even did the 'how many fingers am I holding up' thing. Let me tell you somethin'. There's an art to figuring out how manny fingers someone is holding up when you are seeing double or triple, and I've had lots of practice.

He looked surprised for some reason when I seemed to be more or less fine. Of course by then I knew how to fake most of it, and did ok 'til he asked me to get up an' walk. Since I couldn't see straight, the first thing I did was trip and try to land on my nose. Chang caught me an' sat me back down on that couch thing they had.

Yuy started askin' me questions but Kat told him to leave me alone for a bit. In response, Yuy glared at him and moved to stand by the door with his back to the wall, his arms crossed, and his gun in one hand.

Kat rolled his eyes, shook his head, and muttered something about over kill and usin' guns on people with serious concussions, before turnin' back to look at me again. He told me that due to my condition I really should stay put until at least 10 o'clock the next moring. In return, I watched his eyebrows shoot up when I told him it was no big deal, it was only the second one that week and that I'd be fine in a couple of hours.

Wufei started sputterin' and cursin' in Chinese and Dana started cursin' at Akane in English, while Kat just stared at me with wide eyes and slack jawed. I even got a raised eyebrow from the great stone face, Triton Bloom from where he was watching over Kat's shoulder. Yuy just shrugged. Either he dismissed what I said as a lie, or I'd found someone with as much experience with concussions as me.

In any case, once they'd finally quieted down, Kat, Dana, an' Chang decided that I was stayin' put for the night because they didn't trust me not to get hurt worse if they let me go home. He also told me to quit using his last name, his first name was fine.

I figured I'd wait till they were asleep an' sneak back ta the Tendo's. I knew exactly what Akane an' the two old idiots'd do to me if I was gone all night without tellin' 'em I was trainin'. To say nothin' 'bout what it'd cost me to deal with Nabiki afterwards.

That's when Dana told me I'd better not try sneakin' out to go home, because if I did he'd tie me up again just to keep me where he put me.

I could tell by the look in her eyes that he'd do it too. I was relieved when Wufei mentioned callin' the Tendo's to tell 'em where I was so I didn't have to ask to use the phone just to listen to Akane scream at me some more.

After he left to do that, I finally remembered to ask Dana what she wanted me to call him now that she was a guy. Kat started gigglin' at the now she was a guy part an' even Yuy smirked.

Dana scowled at both of 'em an' grumbled while I watched, confused. Finally she told me to call him Duo here in this house but to call her Dana any where else. He still looked pissed, so to cheer her up I told him about Ranko and pretendin' to be a girl so my mom doesn't make me kill myself. Kat an' Duo laughed 'til I got to the part about the seppku contract, at which point they started lookin' upset again.

Since I was tyin' to keep them in a good mood so they wouldn't change their minds about shooting me, I told 'em to forget it an' asked if someone would help me to the bathroom and if I could have some water.

As a distraction, it worked. Duo helped me to the bathroom and kept me from runnin' into the walls while Yuy followed. He at least stayed in the hall. In the mean time, Kat ran off to get me something to drink, while his boyfriend stayed put in the living room.

By the time I was done in the bath room I was so tired an' dizzy I didn't even bother turnin' back into a guy when I got splashed with cold water. Yuy looked a bit startled and suspicious when I came out as a girl for some reason but didn't say anythin'. He just followed us back down the hall until I nearly took a header down the stairs that woulda takin' Duo with me. That's when he picked me up and carried me the rest of the way. I really didn't complain, I was too damn dizzy to fuss 'bout bein' carried.

When we got back to the living room, Wufei raised an' eyebrow at me an' smirked before tellin' us that the Tendo's knew where I was and that I'd be stayin' for a bit. When I asked what he meant, he said they'd decided to keep me until Kat was sure I was fine.

All I could do was groan.

Akane was gonna kill me.

--ooOOoo--

That night I slept on the couch and the guys took turns waking me up every hour, to make sure I was ok. It would have annoyed me, except that Doc Tofu used to have the girls do the same thing whenever I had a concussion 'til he figured out it wasn't necessary as long as I stayed awake for a couple of hours once I woke back up after being knocked out.

I tried to tell the guys I was fine, and that they didn't need to keep wakin' me up but did they listen?

No.

--ooOOoo--

The next mornin', since they wouldn't let me go to him, I talked Kat into sendin' someone to get Doc Tofu after breakfast. Half an hour later I could hear the Doc an' Wufei comin' in the front door.

"Landed head first on concrete after punching a hole in a steel roof you say and hit his head again an hour later?" Doc Tofu hmm'ed when Wufei agreed.

"Well then, as long as he hasn't broken anything he should be perfectly fine by now."

I could see the doc grin as he came in to the room while listenin' to Wufei as he asked the doc if he was sure.

"Of course I am, the same thing happened about two months ago," his eyes found me "didn't it Ranma?"

"Yeah, hurt like hell then too. At least this time the warehouse wasn't abandoned."

He smiled as he pulled a chair up beside me. "So what did you do to make Akane mad this time Ranma?", he asked.

"I didn't do anythin'." I told him. "She got mad 'cause I've been goin' out at night to spend some time on my own this last week or so. She says I've been messin' around with the other girls and that I'm a pervert. Same as usual, except now she's accusin' me of messin' around with my friend Dana as well."

By that time the only one not in the room listenin' to me and the Doc was Duo. I figured he was listenin' in the kitchen or gettin' dressed up as Dana. When he bounced into the living room wearin' a pair of red shorts, a black shirt, girl's sandels, and bra stuffed with somethin', I had my answer.

An' of course, the first thing he did was try to flirt with the Doc, who took one look an' told him it'd work better if he used water balloons to fill his bra instead of rolled up socks. He should have stopped there, but for some reason, he added a comment to the effect that otherwise he made a very good girl. He also called Duo 02 which gave me the final clue as to just exactly what and who my new friends were.

The fact that he not only knew immediately that Duo was not a girl, but also seemed to know exactly who and what Duo was, was a not well recieved, and with in seconds, I was the only one not either holdin' or pointin' a weapon of some kind at the Doc. Kat, Yuy, and Bloom all had guns, Wufei had his katana, and Duo had managed to pull a pair of throwing knives from somewhere.

I just sat there trying to absorb the discovery that two people I liked and trusted as much as I did Dana and Wufei had killed hundreds of people, and that the other three guys had killed hundreds more. The damage they'd done to different bases (according to the news) meant very little to me. After all, I deal with Ryouga and Shampoo almost every day and the damage they cause with out even thinking about it. It was the people the pilots had reportedly killed that bugged me.

This flashed through my mind in the second between the Doc calling Duo 02 and me whipping my head around to stare at the ... pilots. Because that's who they were. The only one who's expression I recognised wasYuy. He had on the same expression he'd had when Dana and Wufei brought me into thier house the first time.

At first the guy's reaction to Doc Tofu hadn't made any sense to me, but by the time the Doc had convinced Yuy to take the gun out of his face I'd figured it out. The Doc calling Duo 02 had sparked a memory which added to what I'd seen in the warehouse before I hit the concrete head first gave me the answer I'd been hunting for. It expained the gun oil, the med kit, the bloody bandages, and all the other odd things I'd seen. It also explained why one or more of the guys would dissapear for days at a time.

I was stunned. The five guy's I'd gotten to know, including two of the best friends I'd ever had, were the Gundam pilots. Terrorists, rebels, murderers, or freedom fighters depending on who you asked and when.

It was Kat tellin' the doc he had thirty seconds that snapped me back. Next thing I knew I was in front of the Doc and the guns were aimed at me. Three seconds later, the Doc had tapped half a dozen pressure point sand I was crumpled on the floor, face up, limp as a noodle, able to move only my eyes, and fully aware of what was going on around me.

I watched Doc Tofu glance around at the five guys who looked like they were decidin' between attackin' an' runnin' away. He looked a bit confused, then frowned in annoyance an' grumbled to himself, "G you idiot." Then he asked Duo to contact someone he called G and ask him for confirmation on his, the Doc's, identity, he also asked Wufei, who he called 05, to greet some lady named Sally Po for him the next time he talked to her. That earned him Wufei's gun in his face, an' a demand to know how he k new her as well as a demand to explain how he knew who they were. Doc held his hands out to the sides an' told him he'd worked with her before an' that he was supposed to be thier local medical contact but Proffessor G had obviously forgotten to tell them that.

I knew the moment the Doc dropped his hands back down. I watched as Kat lowered his gun and told Bloom and Yuy to do the same after the Doc explained about the fact that he was supposed to be thier local contact for medical attention through someone he called Proffessor G, though the rest of his explination made no sense to me at all. I listened as Wufei asked Kat if the Doc was tellin' the truth and then put his katana back in it's sheath when Kat said yes. I also figured out where Duo kept his knives when I watched him hide them again just before heading back upstairs to supposedly get ahold of this G person

Even after Duo'd come back downstairs and he'd convinced the rest of the guys that they didn't need to shoot him to keep him quiet, it still took a couple more hours for him to convince Yuy to let him leave. By the time Yuy was satisfied that Doc Tofu wasn't a 'security risk' I knew that the Doc had been born on L1 and had moved to earth to finish his schooling and later had remained on Earth to work with his Uncle before inheriting his clinic in Nerima after he'd retired. I also found out the he thought Pops should be skinned, Tendo needed medication, and that Akane needed a good spanking.

I also found out that Nabiki was a fairly well known hacker, not that anyone knew exactly who she was, who did contract work for the right price. Somehow that didn't really suprise me.

As he was getting ready to go, Doc Tofu repeated his advice to Duo, telling him to use water balloons instead of socks. Duo's eyes narrowed a bit, but he just grinned at the Doc an' told him he'd have to remember that. By that time I'd managed to prop myself up against the couch next to him, and just had to ask how the heck he knew that water balloons made better fake boobs than socks. Doc just waved it off an' said he'd had to dress up as a girl as part of a dare in high school an' that his sister had told him the same thing. I tried to imagine the doc in drag an's started laughin' at what my mind showed me.

Soon as the doc was out the door the guys started arguin'. I only caught a couple of words before Yuy glared my way an' made 'em shut up.

There is a reason that Nabiki calls me the master of the Anything Goes foot-in-mouth technique. In this case, in spite of all the effort I'd put into learnin' to think before talkin', with help from Kat an' Dana, I opened my mouth before engagin' my brain.

"You're the gundam pilots! What the hell are ya doin' in Nerima? Ya lookin' for the Oz chick who showed up a couple a months ago?" came flyin' out a my mouth before my brain could catch up an' tell me to keep my mouth shut.

At that point my brain caught up to my mouth an' I shut up before I could say anythin' else. Unfortunately for me, the damage was already done an' I was suddenly surrounded by five hard faced pilots, all of 'em glarin' at me like they were tryin' to see inside my skull. Though to tell you the truth, I really didn't notice since all my attention was of the gun not two feet from my face, aimed at my eyes, and held by a pissed off Odin Yuy. Somehow I got the feelin' that he was hopin' I'd give him an excuse to shoot.

I wasn't until Kat asked me, in one of the coldest voices I ever heard, just what it'd take to keep my mouth shut, that I started noticin' stuff other than the view down inside the gun barrel. That's when I noticed the other guy's reactions, but somehow Kat managed to scare me more than any of 'em.

All I could do was stare at him an' try to sink into the courch an' wonder if this was a dream. Kat'd always made me think of something cute an' fuzzy, but damn that boy could be scary!

I must've been quiet an' just stared for longer than I thought 'cause next thing I knew, Yuy's guntapped me in the forehead an' Kat asked me again when I'd figured it out an' what it'd take to keep me quiet. All I did was squeak an' try ta move closer to Duo. It wasn't long before I had to give up 'cause I was still too doped up to do much more'n wiggle.

Ok, I'll admit it, right then, as out of it an' doped up as I was, if my mom could have seen me she'd've made me kill myself right then an' there. I was actin' like a damn girl! But that seemed to make the guys realize that I wasn't gonna be goin' anywhere with out help, an' they seemed to relax a bit knowin' I was stuck where they put me.

Once everyone'd calmed down, me included after the guys stopped glarin' at me an' Yuy put the gun away, Kat asked me again when I'd figured out who they were, an' this time I managed to answer. I told him about seein' the gundams after punchin' through the ware house roof an' puttin' them together with Tofu callin' Duo 02 an' watchin' 'em leave the house at night an' followin' em to the warehouse. I also told him 'bout how the gun oil in the livin' room and the bandages in the garbage couple of weeks earlier had gotten me curious in the first place.

He also asked if I was gonna tell anyone who they were. I told him "nah, I wasn't gonna tell anyone anythin' 'cause I didn't want anythin' ta happen to you guys since you're the only friends I've got who don't threaten to kill me, try to beat me, or try to seduce me on a regular basis." and followed that up with, "I wouldn't even tell anyone 'bout Yuy. Who, by the way, only drew attention an' made sure people'd remember him when he acted like an asshole all the time."

That started Duo chucklin' while Yuy growled and stalked off somewhere. Kat noticed me tryin' to keep my eyes open an' after decidin' to save the rest of his questions until later, grabbed Bloom an' headed outside. Leavin' Duo an' Wufei to keep an' eye on me.

By that time I was more than ready to lay down again, an' did so even though I ended up with my head in Wufei's lap where he'd sat down near me on the couch while I was tellin' him 'bout the Doc. As I did my best to wiggle myself into a more comfortable position, he asked me what was wrong with me, why was I so weak? Did he need to go get the Doctor again?

As I finished settling in, I snickered an' told him there was no point since the Doc was the one who made me this way in the first place.

Wufei raised an eyebrow an' asked what the doc had done so I told him 'bout the pressure points an' stuff the doc had figured out to keep me in bed when he wanted me to stay there, an' that I'd be useless for a couple of days 'til the herbs an' pressure points wore off.

For some reason this upset both him an' Duo, an' when they asked me why he'd done this to me, I told them about the Doc havin' to find some way to keep me in bed when he wanted me to stay there. In the end he'd had to resort to a combination of pressure points and herbs. I added that the effects would wear off in a couple of days, but until then, I'd be almost helpless. Which was why he didn't use it much, an' when he did, made sure I had somewhere safe to hide until they wore off, usually the clinic or his place.

Wufei seemed impressed an' asked what kinda doc Tofu was an' if he used such methods often. I told him I didn't know for sure, but that the Doc was real good, an' knew his stuff, but to get the hell away from him if Kasumi showed up or if anyone mentioned her name. When Duo asked why, I started telling them stories about what happened when Doc Tofu went nuts around Kasumi.

By that time Kat and Bloom had come back inside, without me noticin', so I was startled when Kat started laughin' with Duo while Wufei snickered softly at some of the wack stuff the Doc did when ever Kasumi showed up. I tried to move so that I could see Kat, but damn near passed out. My head an' neck hurt so bad when I tried to twist my head around that I couldn't stop the groan.

Right after that happened, Kat herded everyone except my pillow out of the room, and told him to let me sleep. I saw him pick up a book on the table beside the couch and then I was out like a light.

--ooOOoo--

When he woke me up for supper, Wufei volunteered to share his room since his was the only one with out two people already in it. He said that it wouldn't be good for me to sleep on the couch in my state. Little did I know that he'd volunteered his bed as well since it was the only one in the room. 

After the meal was finished and the dishes had been washed Kat went off to finish his homework, pulling a protesting Duo with him. Yuy disappeared outside when Wufei drafted Trowa to help get me upstairs an' into the bath before he joined Kat an' Duo in the living room.

There is very little that is more embaressing than having to have help to take a bath and get dressed. It was bad enough when the one helpin' me was the doc, but havin' that help come from Wufei and the others made it worse somehow. At least Wufei didn't insist on hangin' around while I soaked in the tub after he helped me scrub myself off, although he did tell me he'd be back in half an hour to help me get out of the tub, dried, dressed, an' into bed. However he didn't mention that he was going to bring someone else with him. Thank the kami's it wasn't Duo, Yuy was bad enough.

Still I don't really remember all that much after they helped me get dressed in a pair of borrowed boxers an' a t-shirt that was almost too small. I seem to remember bein' picked up an' carried, but at the time I dismissed it as a hallucination since the only one able to do so woulda been Yuy, an' I was sure he wouldn't do such a thing to help me of all people. I don't even remember my head hittin' the pillow.

AN: I'm sorry it's been so long. I'd hoped to have this chapter up three weeks ago but computer problems nixed that idea.

Innortal, terryi, and BlazeStryker, Thank you so much for the reviews.

By the way, this is the unbetaed version of the chapter...


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